3 yr old, 40 pound, male shepherd mix

Dr. Abbot Chesterfield was completely beside himself when after having a near death experience (or so he thought) he found himself in the body of a dog. The Nobel prize winning physicist was well known as an eccentric agoraphobe amongst his family and peers. One night, he went a step too far in his lab, causing the catastrophic demise of his human body. No one could have been more surprised to discover that reincarnation is in fact, what happens after death. But even more shocking to Dr. Chesterfield, was the current reality that his karma had landed him the body of a common household dog. How undignified.

 

Abbot spent the early part of his life bemoaning the other members of his species. With the exception of Abbot’s mother, he could not for the life of him, understand his fellow dogs. He found them to be loud, dirty, smelly creatures who did disgusting things with their mouths. They attempted to play with him. “Dr. Chesterfield does not play”. He would say to them with a snarl. In his life as a human, Abbot was a cat person.

 

In addition to struggling to relate with his canine companions, Abbot continued to try to communicate as a human, to the humans. He brought up the latest theorems and research papers.   Much to his dismay, the humans reacted with baby talk and wanting to touch him! And pat him on the head no less!?!   Abbot found this completely unacceptable. Did these people not know who he was?! Of course, no. Humans did not see a Nobel prize winning physicist when they looked at Abbot, they saw a dog.

 

Abbot learned early on that if he did not want humans to touch him and pat his head like a common golden retriever, he would have to bark and sometimes growl. One time, a stranger tried to wrestle him into a harness. “The NERVE!” He thought. “She didn’t even introduce herself, and she didn’t wash her hands!” He gasped. He begged her to stop in the way his canine mother had shown him. He stiffened up his muscles, turned his head away from her, but it didn’t work. He growled, and barked, “Stop! You stink!” She continued to hover over him, squeezing his sides. “How do I make it stop!?…oh! The teeth!” He thought. “Hmm…but I don’t want to cause her injury” Then he remembered another trick his mom had shown him, to bite but be very careful of how hard he used his teeth. To communicate without causing serious injury. Abbot opened his mouth and very quickly pushed his teeth into the closest thing to him, the woman’s nose. Success! The woman backed off, Abbot was pleased. He was shocked to find that this interaction with the perfectly rude woman, landed him in an animal shelter. “She was the one with no manners or communication skills..” He grumped.

 

“What a vile place!” He thought to himself when entering the kennels, “It stinks, and so loud!” But, at the shelter, Abbot discovered that he was mostly left alone to his thoughts, he got puzzles to solve, and he very much enjoyed the structure that institutional living provided. If he didn’t want to interact with a staff member, or volunteer, he simply barked and growled and away they went. It was going great! Then he met a human woman at the shelter who seemed to understand him. She offered him tasty food, delicious cheese and roasted chicken. She wasn’t driven by a seemingly uncontrollable urge to molest him, like the other humans. She was patient, and asked him if he wanted to be touched before putting her hands on him. And there was the snacks. Abbot discovered that the delicious chicken made him feel relaxed, and he very much enjoyed pets from this human. She would scratch behind his ears and under his chin. He wondered if there were other humans who could also listen and speak to him, or if she was the only one.

 

The next thing he knew, Abbot found himself in a car with a strange lady. “What fresh hell is this?” Abbot thought to himself. “I bet she’s going to try to put a harness on me.” He fussed. Then a familiar aroma reached his nose…she had a bag of roasted chicken! Abbot wondered if this was a sign that she had the same clairvoyant powers as his friend at the shelter. It turned out, she did! She tossed him a hunk of chicken. “Ok, good start here….” He thought. “Don’t touch me though!” He said with a stiffen. She listened to him, and asked him if he wanted to be pet before touching him. “She gets it, too!” He rejoiced.

 

Abbot discovered that he was being taken to a foster home, with two people, a man and a woman. He was skeptical, but then he saw…chicken! “Could this mean that they also, will wait for an invitation from me to be touched?” Abbot hoped. Yep, it did.

 

Abbot checked out his temporary digs. There were some toys, a bed, and plenty of chicken. There was even a library with a few scientific books that he could sneak off and read when the humans left. Over the next several weeks, Abbot discovered that almost every human he encountered started with a peace offering of chicken, and waited to touch him until he approached them. Abbot found that over time, when he met a new human, his default changed from growling and barking, to cautiously approaching them! Every once and a while there was a human who would give Abbot the heeby jeebies. Abbot would bark and growl as needed. But, he discovered that even these people, did not try to touch him! He was surprised to learn that he eventually enjoyed touch from these people too. He even made friends with a cat, who was even more stuck up than him. 

 

Dr. Chesterfield often muses on how his rebirth as a dog is what it took for him to appreciate human contact. He still misses his human body, but he has learned the joy of snuggling up next to person and getting neck scratches. He likes to poop outside and can appreciate the subtle distinction between Black Labrador pee and Chocolate Labrador pee. He no longer judges his fellow dogs for enjoying a good bully stick, or ripping apart a stuffy. He gets it, the life of a dog. It’s a simpler life. A good life.

 

As Dr. Abbot Chesterfield’s care takers, we here at UTH are dedicated to finding a home for him where his body and mind will be respected. He will not be harassed by children or visitors, he will have a yard to nap in, and a library stocked with the latest physics literature. If you think your home is a good fit for Abbot. email info@untilhome.org or fill out an application here  https://form.jotform.com/92587410679166